I had to have an emergency C section. That wasn’t my plan. I wanted to give birth naturally. I wanted to experience it all. Obviously what was safer for Harry was what we needed to do & that was to get him out as soon as possible.
Tom arrived early hours of the morning & we waited. The doctor that had scanned me the previous night was STILL working. He had slept at the hospital.. ‘slept’. He told us the safest thing for Harry would be to have him through C section & I would be going in later that morning. I frantically called my mum & sister who were also my birthing partners. Mum arrived which gave me a lot of comfort.
It all happened so fast. My sister has 2 young boys under 5 & it took her a little while to get to the hospital. I was about to go in & she was trying to find a park. My mum or my sister weren’t able to come into theatre but seeing them before I went in would give me comfort. It was too late… they came & got me & I was next to go in.
I was terrified at this point. We had to wait ages outside of theatre. We went in & the staff were warm & so relaxed. I had one of them put some fluid into my drip & for some reason I could feel the fluid go into my vein. It freaked me out. I started hysterically (quietly) crying. The young anaethisist asked if I would like to put my own music on. I had a Spotify playlist ready for when I went into labor so we put that on. It was such a relaxed vibe which made it so much easier.
I was just about to have the needle in my spine, when there was an emergency. Not me, but another woman who was losing a lot of blood in the theatre next door. The doctors apologised & explained I may have to wait awhile but I would be next. What an anti climax.
I got to see my sister. I’m a strong believer that everything happens for a reason & there was a reason why I had to wait. Two & a half hours passed & it was my turn (again). For some reason maybe because I knew what to expect this time, I was overwhelmed with calmness. My sister also had scrubs on incase Tom needed to pop out (he’s a fainter).
We went through all the motions again. Harry was out within 10 minutes. It was 1.22pm. Tom was amazing support & managed to stay up right. I got a glimpse of our baby boy. He was wonderful.
No wonder he wasn’t happy in there, he had been swimming in his own poop! They weighed him & he was 2kg exactly. They wrapped his bowel in gladwrap to keep it moist. I wasn’t able to hold Harry or even touch him. He was taken away almost straight away to get ready for surgery. Tom went with him.
I went to recovery & my sister & mum were with me. I couldn’t feel my legs & it was the weirdest feeling ever. I almost felt trapped. I had a beautiful midwife help to feed me water through a straw and she could see how sad I was that I couldn’t hold Harry. She organised the doctors to bring Harry past before he went into surgery. I had one of the doctors come & tell me he would be on his way soon. It was a woman around late 30s. She had a young child of her own and went on to say that she understood what I must be going through & it was unfair to not have my baby with me, she had tears in her eyes. What an amazing woman. To feel something so very deeply about someone she didn’t even know. They brought Harry through, there was someone manually helping him breathe. There was a medical team of about 10 that followed him. I touched him with one of my fingers, for the first time, then he went into surgery.
After recovery I went back to my room. All I could think about was food. I had to fast all day so I was starving. It must sound ridiculous that at a time like that I was thinking about food, but that’s where I was at. They wouldn’t let me eat until I farted (something to do with the bowel being in shock after surgery so I needed to wait until they knew it was all good in there). I lied & ate Oreo chocolate.
An hour passed & the surgeon came in. Harry’s operation was over. They managed to get 90% of his bowel back in. The rest would go back in with a silo bag. A silo bag is a bag wrapped around the bowel for the bowel to go back inside the body with gravity, followed by another surgery for closure of his belly. This can take weeks. His body was just too tiny to try and squish everything back in straight away. The surgeon told us that part of his stomach was on the outside too! We had no idea during our pregnancy that that was the case!
A couple of hours passed & I was able to go visit our baby boy in the NICU. I was emotional, tired & frustrated I was unable to mother him like I wanted to. I had to look at Harry through a humidicrib. I could only touch him with my fingers. There were tubes in his nose and cords everywhere & things beeping everywhere. It was confronting. The medical staff were amazing, how lucky were we to have him in such wonderful hands. They were all so kind to us.
I stared at him for a few hours but because I was on such heavy medication after surgery I felt drunk & I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I went back to my room. Tom having to go home again. The breast pumping began. Every 3 hours on the hour to bring in my milk. I was sitting in the hospital room alone & babyless. It was hard.