Follow your babies lead🖤
I was given advice yesterday from a health ‘professional’ WITHOUT asking, to let Harry cry it out in his cot.
This is a sensitive topic for most, but I cannot hide the fact that I believe it’s completely wrong. Now I’m not talking about your child having a little whinge for a minute because you’re in the middle of something and you can’t pick them up straight away. I’m talking about people who are instructing you to leave your baby in their cot to cry for 45 minutes before you even go in to check they’re “ok”..so they “learn to go to sleep on their own”. I don’t doubt this works – of course it does! The baby eventually gets the message that no one is coming to comfort them. The child isn’t falling asleep because they’ve learnt to go to sleep on their own, what they’ve actually learnt is that no one is coming to them. If you’d like to read more about this do some research on Learned Helplessness.
There is one baby “expert” who says if a baby is so upset that they vomit, it’s just for attention and not to give in – simply go in the room, do not make eye contact or speak, change the sheets and leave the room.. the “training” should only take a few nights. I will admit I seriously struggle with how someone could possibly think there is anything positive that comes out of letting a baby become so distressed? Actually, I suppose the positive for some parents is that they get a full night’s sleep. But are they aware at what cost? I can’t imagine anyone who researches the developing brain and a child’s attachment to their care-giver, how they could possibly do it. I don’t understand how a need for a full night’s sleep could be anymore important than your baby’s emotional well-being. Babies don’t cry for no reason. Attending to your babies needs is NOT spoiling them! Babies cry for other reasons than just hunger – just maybe they want comfort.
It is such a short time of your life.. of your babies life and yes it can be tiring but show them your love, that you will always come back for them…don’t you want your child to know that you will always, no matter their age, come to them if they need you?
~Check out this link from the Australian Association for Infant Mental Health.
“AAIMHI is concerned that the widely practiced technique of controlled crying is not consistent with infants’ and toddlers’ needs for optimal emotional and psychological health and may have unintended negative consequences.”
~I’d also like to mention I understand that sleep deprivation can become seriously debilitating and you might feel you need support..if so, there are people who can support you. Check out accounts like @pinkymckay1, she has a website with loads of information and very gentle advice on sleep, feeding and all things baby.